Making the decision to go gray is not an easy one. But many women eventually decide that the time and expense of coloring their hair frequently is just not worth it anymore. While many fear the process, worried about looking strange as it grows out, there are ways to minimize the awkwardness and gradually get used to the change.
Why Go Gray?
Like many others, I had colored my hair since my twenties. At first it was just for fun: a little Sun-In here, a few highlights there, but when I started finding gray hairs in my thirties, I used grocery store boxes, lemon juice concoctions, and pricey salon services. By my forties, I began all-over coloring in earnest. I liked experimenting with my hair, and while my natural hair color was a dark blonde, I enjoyed seeing what I looked like as a redhead or a brunette.
In my fifties, keeping the “skunk stripe” at bay required a trip to the salon every three weeks, and I quickly grew tired of spending a couple of hours at a time essentially trying covering up the person I was becoming. I also was a little curious… what was my natural color now? How gray was I? And, if being gray is inevitable, is it better to keep fighting it or just learn to accept it and maybe even love it?
Starting the Transition to Gray
Planning for this change was essential because I wanted the transition to be gradual and to avoid super-obvious roots. (And all along the way, I told myself I could go back to full color if I didn’t like it.) But the process I chose was gradual and easy, and I don’t think I’ll ever go back.
I started by lightening my hair to a more platinum shade very gradually for a few months each time I had the roots touched up. At the same time, maybe every other month, my stylist added platinum highlights. Now I could see what it would look like, too, because it was so light in areas that i could imagine it silver. I was getting lots of compliments, and actually began looking forward to the change. Apparently my old color really didn’t match my face as well as I thought it did!
Going All the Way Gray
After a couple of months, I stopped using permanent color and started using a platinum toner all over. Then just a purple shampoo to help blend in where the roots have grown out. When it hit about two inches of outgrowth, it was pretty well blended so I continued with the highlights for a few more months. After another inch or so of growth, I decided to go short and had all the remaining color cut off.
Just like that, I had gone natural. Now, a few years later, my hair is longer, still curly, and more gray than blond. Sometimes I wash in a little light or neutral blonde glaze to take the edge off, or I use a purple shampoo to make it look more platinum. But I will never go back to coloring.
And that is the silver lining. It feels so good to just be me.
Tips for Going Gray (Almost) Painlessly
- Plan for the process. Talk to your stylist about how you can make the process as gradual and natural as possible.
- Start by going a little lighter with each touch-up and use highlights to blend the lighter color with the existing permanent color.
- When you have reached a light enough shade, drop the touch-ups and use the highlights to continue to blend in the growing roots.
- Use a light toner blend your natural tones, the emerging gray, and the highlights.
- Continue the process, or when you are ready, cut off the remaining dyed hair.
- Use color-depositing shampoos or wash-in glazes to freshen the color or keep the emerging gray from looking yellow or dull.
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